Stages of Grief
Well this is day 2 of writing to myself and thinking that I am writing you. It seems to have helped. Some things that have been troubling me though. This process is like you have died.
So from college I looked up the stages of grief
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http://www.wyfda.org/basics_4.html
The first reaction was shock. The universal first reaction to hearing the news was, "No."
The second stage that quickly followed was denial.
"This can't be happening to me."
The third stage was anger. This anger was usually directed at God, nature, or luck, but needed to be understood by the family because it usually became directed at them at some point.
The fourth stage was bargaining. The patient typically hoped that God would extend their life or cure them in exchange for promised behavior.
The fifth stage was grieving. This is usually the longest lasting stage of the cycle and is marked by deep depression and mood changes.
The final stage was acceptance. Once this stage is reached, the patient usually used whatever time remaining to "put their house in order." There was a marked peace in the patient's mood. Death was not a feared event.
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I think that I am at the acceptance stage. I went to bed thinking that I was going to get up and come see you and by the time I got to sleep I thought it was better to stay away. You know Terrin this really sucks. Just wanted to say that.
There was another point in my life that this happened. It was Sally. I went crazy for an entire year. I mean crazy and did crazy shit.
Needless to say I haven't seen you. I just want to know you are at least thinking about your "Friend".
In the beginning of all of this I kept throwing up. Things are getting better. To think about you still makes me get upset though. Very much so.
So I have the email here from yesterday and I debate whether you will ever see it. It might hurt you too much Terrin. I don't want to hurt you in the least bit. I want a hug.
If I could turn back time. Every time that you said you needed a hug I wished I could run to your aid. I really need one now. I mean I really wished that I could be in your arms and hold you close.
More later.
So from college I looked up the stages of grief
***********************
http://www.wyfda.org/basics_4.html
The first reaction was shock. The universal first reaction to hearing the news was, "No."
The second stage that quickly followed was denial.
"This can't be happening to me."
The third stage was anger. This anger was usually directed at God, nature, or luck, but needed to be understood by the family because it usually became directed at them at some point.
The fourth stage was bargaining. The patient typically hoped that God would extend their life or cure them in exchange for promised behavior.
The fifth stage was grieving. This is usually the longest lasting stage of the cycle and is marked by deep depression and mood changes.
The final stage was acceptance. Once this stage is reached, the patient usually used whatever time remaining to "put their house in order." There was a marked peace in the patient's mood. Death was not a feared event.
***********************
I think that I am at the acceptance stage. I went to bed thinking that I was going to get up and come see you and by the time I got to sleep I thought it was better to stay away. You know Terrin this really sucks. Just wanted to say that.
There was another point in my life that this happened. It was Sally. I went crazy for an entire year. I mean crazy and did crazy shit.
Needless to say I haven't seen you. I just want to know you are at least thinking about your "Friend".
In the beginning of all of this I kept throwing up. Things are getting better. To think about you still makes me get upset though. Very much so.
So I have the email here from yesterday and I debate whether you will ever see it. It might hurt you too much Terrin. I don't want to hurt you in the least bit. I want a hug.
If I could turn back time. Every time that you said you needed a hug I wished I could run to your aid. I really need one now. I mean I really wished that I could be in your arms and hold you close.
More later.
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