Big Plans

It's Terr's Bday this weekend. I have big plans for us. Plan to leave the big city and spend the weekend at a bed and breakfast and do some sight seeing. She really lights up my life. Being with her brings me so much pleasure. When I am not around her I think about her. When I am with her time moves too quickly, she begins to cry when I leave. It breaks my heart to leave.
I am thinking about asking her to move in together. I don't want to though because I know she is going to say no. She couldn't bear to tell her family that she was moving in with someone without being married. We have been intimate. I wasn't her first. She is a good girl and I have definitely had much more experience than she has. College was such a crazy time. I know that when my first love and I broke up I went crazy for about a year. I slept with some people thinking that I could make the pain go away. I also drank to dull myself. Time doesn't heal any wounds it just makes you gradually forget you hurt so much. It sill hurts to think about Paula. I did so many things wrong with her, to her, and in our relationship. I was young and she was young. 5 years we were together. Oh well, that was then and this is now. I have paid for my sins I believe.
Terr is the future. She and I are the future.